Successful difficult conversations

Category: Staff performance and behaviour

Some parent conversations are hard work. Some are draining. And some… are wins. Here’s a simple leadership habit: Make space to share “What worked.”
Your Home-School Agreement is one of the most under-used tools for managing parental relationships. Most of the time, it goes like this: A child joins the school, parents are given a copy, they sign it… and it disappears into a folder. Rarely looked at. Rarely remembered. Which is a shame — because if it’s done well, it can head off many of the parental issues you’re facing.
Some issues become niggles that drag on. You know the ones I mean: A parent is unhappy about a decision — their daughter should have been picked for the team. A parent insists their son would never behave that way — maybe not at home, but he does at school. A carer says their child is being picked on and the perpetrator must be moved to another class. Now!
Ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells with a parent? Maybe they storm in. Raise their voice. Question your judgement. Or drop a comment that sticks in your head for days. Other times, they’re less direct, but you still leave the conversation second-guessing every word.
Are parents harder to work with now? It’s not your imagination. The generation of parents you're dealing with today experienced school very differently — and it shows in the way they respond today. In this short video, I unpack why conversations with parents can feel more emotionally charged, and what school leaders can do to stay calm, confident, and clear.
Why is talking about behaviour so hard? Behaviour conversations are tougher than performance ones. It’s easier to help someone improve their marking than to change their attitude​. If behaviour is the issue, here’s what can help
What’s the one difficult conversation people fear the most? The one no one wants to have? Telling someone they smell.
There are 5 common difficult conversations I see time and again in school. I asked 1,489 school leaders which of these difficult conversations they are having with their staff - only 3% had none of them.
Ok, that’s half way through the school year! It goes by fast doesn’t it? And soon you will be focused on next year. The chess board of who goes where will be out. You’ll try to please everyone and maybe you will, but if not that’s because it’s a tough task to do. So here’s a tool that can help you make those staffing moves for next year better.
65% of difficult conversations don’t get fixed. The problem comes back. Again and again. Does that sound familiar? It doesn’t have to be this way. I promised. Yes, promise! I’ve seen it.