You know those difficult conversations you struggle to have because the person has upset, annoyed or angered you so much? You find it hard to have the conversation you need to because your emotions are running high. There is a technique that can help you called reframing.
It’s where you try to see the situation in a more helpful ‘frame’. For example, you might think ‘I always have to have the tough conversations!’; a more helpful thought and reframe could be ‘I’m a leader in this school and so tough conversations are part of being a leader’.
‘Why doesn’t he just get on and mark his books! He is teacher after all!’ and you might find this reframe helpful ‘He’s struggling at the moment and we’ve all been there. I want to help him do his job fully.’.
It’s a bit when you write the email you want to write but don’t send, so you can then write the better email.
You’ll know if a reframe is working for you because you should feel your emotions calm, if they don’t then you need to try a different reframe until you find one that calms them. Think of it as trying on a jacket until you find one that fits, the perfect fit is the one that quietens those emotions and their voices that are going around your head.
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