New year, time for an emotional declutter?

New year is often a time to reflect on the year that has been and think about the year ahead. We might do some decluttering, decide to lose weight, or maybe we want to exercise more. There are two ‘declutters’ I’ve not heard many people do is think about which might resonate with you:

1)      What issues may have been ‘lingering’ and need to be resolved?

One thing I notice about difficult conversations is the amount of energy they suck up until they are resolved. Dealing with these issues can lead to a kind of ‘emotional declutter’ and, if they are resolved well, they take a weight off our shoulders.

It might feel like something you’d rather avoid but there are gains to be had. Just a thought.

2)      What relationships are no-longer right for us?

Don’t get me wrong with this one, I love my friends as I’m sure you do. But my coach once shared a phrase with me which helped me understand my friendships, including which ones it was right to let go.

We’re friends for a reason, season or life.

A reason: perhaps a friend whilst we worked somewhere, but didn’t remain a friend afterwards, for no bad reason, just that the context meant we were great pals.

A season: maybe at university, or a period in life.

Life: no explanation needed 😊

What this let me understand is that some friendships, no matter how close they were at the time, are right to no longer exist. We were in each other’s lives for a reason or season and that was what was meant to be. No need to feel guilty or bad that we no longer, it’s just how friendships flow.

I’ve shared this idea with many friends and their reaction made me think that perhaps others would benefit from this simple framework.