They agree with me, but don’t take any action to change

In a recent twitter poll we asked the following question: “what is your most common problem when having a difficult conversation?”

47% voted: “when they agree with me, but don’t take action”. 

In chapter 3 of my book: Successful Difficult Conversations in School: Improve your team’s performance, behaviour and attitude with kindness and success” I talk about the idea of ‘two-worlds’ to help you decide if you really need to have the conversation. This idea of ‘two-worlds’ is also useful when someone either doesn’t realise how important the issue is or you find they are not taking action after a few conversations. 

We help them see the ‘two-worlds’ they are heading towards: 

 

One is currently being walked towards, where the problem isn’t resolved. What does the future look like?

The other is where the issue is resolved and there is a happier future.

This is not an unusual situation. I see this problem a lot and explaining the ‘two-worlds’ technique can help someone see the importance of the need to change. 

As hard as it might be to have a ‘two-worlds’ conversation it’s far worse to let someone walk out of a conversation not fully appreciating the seriousness of the situation and, therefore, not putting in the necessary effort. Ultimately, they might not want to change, but that is their choice. We have to help them see the choice and the consequences. Sadly, people are often surprised to find themselves in capability because they’ve not realised they’ve been heading towards that future for some time. Then, ‘suddenly’, they find themselves facing this ordeal and that’s not fair on them. 

Perhaps it’s time for you to have a ‘two-worlds’ conversation? 

Interested in learning more? Come to my upcoming 1/2 day training event on the 8th March in London: Quick tips for having successful difficult conversation’. It’s £65+VAT and I guarantee you’ll walk away with lots of practical ideas which you and your team will be able to implement straight away.

Hopefully see you then!

Best wishes

Sonia